October 18, 2004


もし目的がないし、方向感覚もないだったら、また陽へ向かえますか? 友達も地球もなくなる時にはどう生きれますか?

When I had the privilege of waking up this morning, I felt my life's dryness--which is beautiful and sorrowful at the same time. To feel both of these emotions at the same time, like meeting my friend this morning after a long strand of waiting and longing, and to live with them--joy and sadness--is like talking to someone you love in a dream, and not being able to control your words. I have no language to speak to Megumi with, nothing verbal or non-verbal I feel that I can share. What I want to share is a different story. Volition and ability, possibility and actuality. I only feel an acute sense of the world fading from me as each face becomes intimate and then distant, my own of course the last to become known and the first to be forgotten.

Morning sun, coffee--
my eyes cannot open, why?
The sky has turned white.


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