March 22, 2005

The Dreams We've Become Accustomed to by Now

Last night I dreamt about my best friend, someone I haven't seen for over a year. It was one of the most vivd dreams I have had since living in Japan, since having my thoughts scattered in a pool of characters, words, languages, goodness, awkwardness, friendliness, and, in the deepest, most tenebrous layer of sediment, guiltiness. For everything I feel, guilt. If I feel guilty for feeling guilty, it is wrotten. If I ignore what I feel as an inherent weakness of character, there is guilt.

Yesterday, my brother (Jaime has finally arrived, hooray!) and I scooted out to the Kada district of Wakayama, a very beautiful and quiet little port region on the most northwesterly corner of Wakayama City (and Prefecture). We visited Awashima Shrine, a shrine famous for its Hina Matsuri (Doll Festival). I took some wonderful pictures, my most favorite being the ones of a highly populated tanuki corner--a corner devoted to these Japanese racoon-like creatures, adorned with about 100-200 tanuki of diverse shapes and sizes (and testicle size). The sky was clear, the breeze was gentle, and all was peaceful.

Even after a day like this, I still feel guilty for something that is becoming less and less palpable and real. Maybe as we grow old, we start making stuff up to feel guilty for, just as many people make up things or reasons to be afraid of something or someone else.

Next week, Sumo wrestling, touring of Kansai, and a lot of food and drink. I will be blogging less until after the April Fool's Day. But according to the rows of 0s on my site meter (interrupted by a rare 1--once in the morning, once at night), this will not concern a great number of (non-existent) readers.


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